For 2018 Robert Burns meets Chinese New Year night, (Jan 22, 2018), I was asked to prepare for Chinese poetry… So I chose some and asked my friends to share their thoughts, here are some good discussions from one of my friends and poets ( Leslie Yang): The three versions of this poem have their own merits and defects.
尋尋覓覓，冷冷清清， 淒淒慘慘戚戚。
①So dim, so dark,/So dense, so dull,/So damp, so dank,/So dead!
林运用双声和头韵，以“d”开头的八个形容词译出,的确是黄昏细雨无可奈何孤单的境地,堪称绝译。最后以“dead”一词收住,完美地体现了原词意思上的递进。但译文中遗失了“寻寻觅觅”词人似乎在寻觅什么但也寻觅不到的空虚心境。
②I look for what I miss; /I know not what it is. /I feel so sad, so drear, /So lonely, without cheer.
许一、二行用相同句式，三、四行用重复句型，且押aabb的韵，体现词人寂苦无告的凄凉心境。遗憾的是“without cheer”略感累赘，未免有凑韵之嫌。
③Lonely and lonesome, bleak and bitter, Deep in dreary thoughts I missed you miserably so.
曾为了忠实原文的韵，巧妙地运用相近的词来代替，但仍然未达到林的译文韵味。
乍暖還寒時候， 最難將息。 三杯兩盞淡酒， 怎敵他、晚來風急？
①The weather, now warm, now cold, Makes it harder .Than ever to forget! /How can a few cups of thin wine /Bring warmth
against /The chilly winds of sunset?
②How hard is it To keep me fit In this lingering cold! /By cup on cup /Of wine so dry /Oh, how could I /Endure at dusk the drift /
Of wind so swift?
③In a season when warmth could suddenly a chill become, /Unable to rest was a weary soul./ How could light wine of two or three pours / Fend off a rush of wind in the late hours?
原文用反问句式，反诘的口吻写风急引起了词人的哀愁。曾译文为了完整表达，显得冗长，失去了诗歌的精炼，更像散文体。林、许译文保留了反问句式，语气和原文旗鼓相当。“敌”字以“cope with”和“endure”译出，力度则显不足。林巧用介词“against”，取得了异曲同工的效果。
雁過也，正傷心， 卻是舊時相識。
①I recognize the geese flying overhead: My old friends, Bring not the old memories back!
②It breaks my heart, alas, To see the wild geese pass, For they are my acquaintances of old.
③As wild geese flew by, in sorrow I dwelled, /And remembered how I had seen them before.
三个版本的译文中，许的译文虽然是意译，但英文表达最贴切。林的译文更像流行歌曲的歌词。曾的译文比较接近原文表达。
滿地黃花堆積。 憔悴損、如今有誰堪摘？
①Let fallen flowers lie where they fall./To what purpose/And for whom should I decorate?
②The ground is covered with yellow flowers, /Faded and fallen in showers./Who will pick them up now?
③ On grounds in piles were petals of yellow. /Wilting in grief, who’d these flowers pick?
词人见黄菊花凋零，不堪入目，想到自己身世寥落，无人怜爱不由感慨万千。林的“fallen flowers”过笼统。比较下，许译“yellow flowers”较忠实。曾译文相对简洁也忠于原意。许用“showers”表示黄花堆积，既形象生动又与下句中的“now”押韵，堪称佳译。
守著窗兒， 獨自怎生得黑？
①By the window shut,/Guarding it alone,/To see the sky has turned so black!
②Sitting alone at the window, how/Could I but quicken/ The pace of darkness that won’t thicken?
③By the window I pined, /In solitude how could I while away the day till darkness arrived?
Could I bear alone the sight until it is dark? 词人孤苦一人，冷清寂寞就连熬到天黑都觉不易。《金粟词话》称其“用浅俗之语，发清新之思，词意并工，闺情绝调”。林译是说天色已经变得漆黑，与原词的意境相去甚远。许、曾较好地体现了原词的意境，尤其是许词语的选择和意境的烘托都更胜一筹。
梧桐更兼細雨， 到黃昏、點點滴滴。
①And the drizzle on the kola nut/Keeps on droning:/Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat!
②On plane’s broad leaves a fine rain drizzles/As twilight grizzles.
③Drizzle through phoenix trees fell, /At twilight, drops and drips dribbled and rolled.
“点点滴滴”写出了秋雨的淅沥绵密。许、曾二人的译文押韵，达到了“音美”，且保留了原文的意境，但说到生动传神当推林译。用“Droning”恰当描绘秋雨的低沉单调；拟声词“Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat”的运用更令人拍案叫绝，形象地描摹了“点点滴滴”的秋雨。
這次第，怎一個、愁字了得！
①Is this the kind of mood and moment /To be expressed
②By one word “sad”? Oh, what can I do with a grief/Beyond belief!
③In fall, how could sorrow possibly spell a melancholy overflow!
“这次第”三字将全文一笔收住，“怎一个愁字了得”则不难令人想像处于国破、家败、人亡中的词人是何等的孤寂、痛苦！三种译文均保留原文的反问句式，如实再现词人当时的心境；而且借助脚韵、头韵等语音修辞，进一步再现原文音韵美。
结论： 以上三种译文各有所长，堪称大家手笔，当然也存在尚需改进之处。林译于音、形、意上均有顾及，且不乏生动传神之笔，有些地方甚至达到了“青出于蓝而胜于蓝”的境界，但“创译”甚多，需提高忠实性。许通过变通和补偿较好地再现了原文的音美、形美和意美，比较像一首翻译的英文诗。曾译大致体现了原文的形美和音美，不足之处是每行音节过多，而且“阐释”的译法时有所见，缺乏原词的委婉含蓄之美，淡化了诗意。
